Years ago, I received a note from a college girlfriend who had recently received it from an old girlfriend of hers. I immediately typed it up and printed it out on a crisp sheet of creamy resume paper in a dreamy font. Three states and five apartments later, it still dangles from my refrigerator door.

Now crinkled and waterstained, its message still offers me a little inspiration on those particularly intolerable days. And so I pass it on to you, our strong, beautiful readers.

Every woman should have...

• one old love she can imagine going back to...and one who reminds her how far she has come.
• enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to.
• something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.
• a youth she's content to leave behind.
• a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.
• the realization that she is actually going to have an old age, and some money set aside to fund it.
• a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
• one friend who always makes her laugh...and one who lets her cry.
• a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.
• eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.
• a resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
• a feeling of control over her destiny.

Every woman should know...

• how to fall in love without losing herself.
• how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
• when to try harder...and when to walk away.
• how to have a good time at a party she'd never choose to attend.
• how to ask for what she wants in a way that makes it most likely she'll get it.
• that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.
• that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over.
• what she would and wouldn't do for love or more.
• how to live alone...even if she doesn't like it.
• whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally.
• where to go -- be it a best friend's kitchen table or to a charming inn in the woods -- when her soul needs soothing.
• what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year.

-- Anonymous