The hardest thing about party planning is getting up the courage to have a party. There is a lot in the balance. You want people to have a good time because these people are your friends and you want your friends to like you.

Ideally, everyone leaves their problems at the door, comes in groovy clothes, has an appetite for anything, is swept up by the music selection, and knows when to go home. The reality is that a few may call to cancel, come straight from work in suits, be lactose intolerant, have headaches, or ask to stay the night.

Invitations

The magic of being a party planner is that you are there to help reality along. Invite a few more people than you expect. If it's an intimate dinner and you are only having 8 people who you know well, then there is no need, but for larger parties, it is always good to have backup guests. When you call or write to invite people, mention the mood of the party to help them plan their wardrobe selection, and be clear about when the party starts and ends. If you like to keep things going until the wee hours, rock on. If you like to have the whole place cleaned up before you get to bed, it's best to have a brunch or late afternoon cocktail party. If you are only inviting your close friends, you will know what they do and don't eat, but if you're throwing yourself off the deep end and inviting people you don't know, provide a selection, and people can help themselves to what they like.

Food

Relaxation is the key to you and your guests having a good time. I always want to try something I've never attempted before when I cook for a party, but it's not a good idea, unless you like living on the edge. The unknown is always frightening on some level, and can leave you either unable to talk to your guests until you know that your new dish is perfect, or crying in the bathroom when it comes out like glue. Neither is good for atmosphere.

Themes are great for pulling a party together and giving you a focus. You can go Greek and have huge platters of Greek salad, roast lamb, olives in peppery olive oil, stuffed grape leaves, and pastries dripping with honey, or you could go retro and offer things like fruit skewers extending out of a pineapple, shrimp toast points, and mini sliced beef sandwiches with frilly toothpicks.

If you don't like to cook, don't start now. Instead, stick with your strong points. Maybe food shopping is your thing. Buy your food. Keep the menu to chips and dips, or order take-out. There is nothing wrong with take-out. If you decide on Chinese, bring home some Chinese lanterns or tea candles, as well.

Atmosphere

A little atmosphere goes a long way. Ask me to decorate, and you may as well be asking your goldfish. It's rocket science; I can't do it. But anybody can buy flowers. Cut them from your garden or buy them in pots as plants or by the stem. Put them everywhere - use trifle dishes for branches of lilacs, or baby food jars for the tops of Queen Ann's lace. Just think seasonal.

I like the low-stress Umbrian tact for planning a party menu. They always go for a theme, it's always in terms of food, and they always go for their own. Umbrians have the same (Umbrian) food whether they are at home, a restaurant, or a wedding: bruschetta with fresh tomatoes, garlic and basil, or wild mushrooms; pasta with meat sauce; sausages or steaks on the grill with white beans in olive oil and lemon; salads of bitter greens, and fresh fruit marinated in champagne.

You won't lose any friends if you offer them any of that. The secret is, if you do make something delicious, stick to it. The best parties have plenty of everything, with easy access to it all. The rest is frosting on the cake.