Family picnics work really well for those that include crusty neighbors or nerve-snapping blood relatives. No one has to sit next to anyone who they don't want to sit next to.

Mercatale di Cortona sits on the edge of Tuscany, separated from its Umbrian cousin, Lisciano Niccone, only by a thin stream of water. By summer, even the stream dries up, and the grasses that fill it lazily wave from one side to the other, as if there were no border at all. It used to be that Italy was divided into city-states, each run independently by wealthy, land-owning families, or occasionally by the church. Heated battles over property raged between them until 1870, when Italy became a unified country and Rome itself was finally given over by the Pope.

Like old feuding relatives, the people of Lisciano and the Mercatalese don't mix much. It rarely happens that a farmer from Lisciano would have his coffee in Mercatale, and the people from Mercatale refused to combine the small village elementary schools, despite having only three children in each. However, you do get the occasional lifetime friendships: I have seen the realtor's father pedal across the bridge more than a few times a week to play cards with the old boys' club on the opposite side, and more than one family have cousins and uncles who live across the border.

Most importantly, the two towns are connected by news. News in Italy knows no boundaries, and if there is a death or a job change, the grapevine stretches right across to accommodate. They are too connected not to be connected. The challenge is - as is the same with every extended family who doesn't quite get along - how to have a party... and invite everyone. I say, have a picnic.

Family picnics were created for just this sort of situation, and work really well for those that include crusty neighbors or nerve-snapping blood relatives. Not only does the big outdoors make room for big numbers, it makes it much easier for people who don't get along to get along. Walls tend to close in on people and make them feel cornered. At picnics, however, guests have the option of wandering off into the wilderness, not to be seen until the sun goes down. Any living room is just so big, while a state park can be enormous. No one has to sit next to anyone who they don't want to sit next to.

Having a picnic in a park also gives built-in entertainment, which always helps when people don't have much to say to each other. Hiking trails, water holes, and playgrounds come with the package, and you can let people know beforehand what they may need to bring along in order to take advantage of the fun. Most parks have designated areas with plenty of picnic tables and grills. Whether everyone brings a dish or you make the lunch yourself, put all of the food on the same table. It is impossible to all stand around a table of burgers, corn on the cob, and watermelon together and not have something nice to say. Good food brings out the best in people. If guests have cooked themselves, have a stack of index cards and a bunch of pens by the desserts to encourage people to exchange recipes. I wouldn't be so quick to argue, if I knew my enemy had notes on how to make a mean lemon meringue pie. Priorities take over.

To make people even happier, consider their children, who they tend to forget. My Aunt Myra - say what you might about her haircut - always had a bottomless bag of activities for the kids. We painted, made name tags for everyone, did crossword puzzles, or macrameed. When kids are occupied, parents relax. If you are having a picnic at home, turn on the hose, give the younger set buckets and sponges, and have a car wash. For the teeny tinies, buy stickers, coloring books, crayons, and supplies for making their own sundaes or decorating cupcakes for a crowd. There is no time to be tense when there are cupcakes and ice cream on the table.

Menu for a Happy Picnic:

• Three-Bean Salad
• Cold Roast Pork
• Garlic and Lemon Chicken
• Fresh Mozzarella and Tomato Salad
• Pasta Salad with Leeks, Asparagus, Artichokes, and Peas
• Fresh Roasted Peaches with Mascarpone
• Biscotti (purchased)